Monday, February 7, 2011

What Did You Say?

Have you ever noticed when you're sick or feeling under the weather that it only takes an innocent comment from a well-meaning friend or loved one to make you feel even worse?  Why is that?  How can those that love you the most very unintentionally make you feel worse?  It only takes four little words to accomplish this feat and those words are ... 

"How are you feeling?"

We are all taught from a very young age that this is the question you ask to show your love and concern for the poor individual who is under the weather.  Oh yes, and don't forget to wrinkle your forehead and knit your brows together and position your head in just the right downward slant as to convey the correct amount of concern.  

The truth of the matter is, all that the well-meaning question does for the 'sick' individual is focus his attention on the pain and sickness!  The mind does an immediate scan to determine what the answer is to the question.  After all, we must be honest!  We don't want people to think we are feeling good if we really are not!  So, now since my mind is once again focused on the sickness, what is it I am creating in my life?  That's right; more sickness! 

So how DO we handle that not-very-well-thought-out question?  You don't want to lie, yet you don't want to draw more sickness to yourself, so recently I've been taking my cues from the teachings of Abraham-Hicks - simply reply "irrelevant".  So it sounds something like this:  

(Well-meaning soul (WMS))  "Hi Pat, how are you feeling?"  
(Me)  "It's irrelevant"
(Me)  "It's really irrelevant how I feel either good or bad."
(WMS)  "What do you mean?" (sounding a little defensive).
(Me)  "I mean it really doesn't matter how my physical body is feeling right now.  What DOES matter is where I'm going.  What does matter is how beautiful today is and what wonderful and exciting adventures we are having in our lives right now and how because of that attention to so much positivity and beauty, I am drawing more and more of that to my life."

But you may ask, isn't that looking at life through rose colored glasses instead of facing the reality of my situation right here and now?  My answer is "maybe so", but I would much rather think about what I see through those glasses than focus on the reality happening in my physical body right now.  I truly believe focusing on that positive view will bring more wellness into my life.  

Now that I'm on the other end of that question, I certainly will be careful about what I'm directing my friend's attention to when they are ill.  What kind of questions can we ask our under the weather friend's to actually help them raise their vibration up from the vibration of illness?  What are some of your ideas?


  1. give me the rose colored glasses anyday!!!! I'm right with ya girl... I am told that my "thinking" is not realistic... and my response to anyone is... well... look at my life and look at how happy I am... my rose colored glasses are first made of gold, cause my life is pure gold baby :) Love and Hugs to you dear friend! I agree with you!!!!

    We need to thank our bodies for their hard work for us. We need to thank them for being healthy. We need to thank them. Talk to your body and give away complements to everyone. You look great today. That's my thinking... change our thoughts and we change the world.... one positive complement at a time.. even to our own self..

  2. Well you got me thinking... how about asking the question "How are you 'healing' today?"

  3. Interesting! I understand your viewpoint in this blog. My opinion from experience is really that any statement can be taken in a positive or negative way. I've learned I cannot live my life worrying if I will offend someone if my intention is completely pure and a statement out of love. They will interpret from their viewpoint.

    I believe that the stories we tell have an impact on our reality. The question of "How are you feeling?" can really become an opportunity to express the feeling of wellness that the body is moving towards. No matter the stage of sickness, it could always be worse. If we are doing all we can, then everyday we have the opportunity to feel better than the day before.

    I used to be extremely careful about what I said to others because I didn't want to offend anyone in anyway. However, I realized that no matter what I did and how hard I tried, sometimes someone would take what I said the wrong way. When the perception is taken in the opposite way that it was intended, I think it shows the receiving person more about themselves. Each and every day we have the opportunity to feel better than the day before and when this is not occurring it gives us the opportunity to stop and change our approach and ultimately our thoughts.

    Much love always! <3