Sunday, July 19, 2009
Ya know when you're feeling kinda down, unhappy, or sad how you just want to close yourself off from the rest of the world? You just don't really want to talk to anyone because you don't want to spread your negative attitude to them? Well, that's where I am right now.
And I know I sound like a broken record, but ya know what I KNOW right this very instant? It's my choice to be in this place. I can shut myself off and get all inside myself and feel bad, or I can get on this blog page and tell you all what I'm going through. Not in the "poor me" kinda way, but in the, "now it's time for me to walk my talk" kinda way.
So this is how I change directions. I know that the reason I'm feeling bad is because somewhere along the line, I'm resisting well-being. In my case, most likely, it's because I allow someone else's actions to decide my happiness and because I have a preset way of thinking how things should turn out, when they don't I get upset. Now, is that the other party's fault because they do not live up to MY expectations? Of course not! It's my challenge, because I'm the one with the expectations to begin with. Expectations come out of judgment. I judge another person's actions to be right or wrong, good or bad, and therefore allow it to affect my joy.
Wow, even just admitting that and writing it down for you all, has helped me change the direction I was headed in. Will I choose joy, and walk my own path without judging what others "should do", or will I give in to the solitary confinement I impose on myself because I choose to wallow in the mire?
Anyone else ever experience this dilemma? What did you choose?