Monday, July 6, 2009

Sending Light and Love

Today is the day! Sarah comes home tonight! I'm so excited! But along with my excitement, there is a little apprehension too. We haven't seen each other in two and a half years, and I'm in a totally different place than I was the last time I saw her, so I'm really nervous. Will she want to be around me? We live in such a small space, will she want to leave sooner because it is so crowded?

Some of my questions are coming up from my own place of insecurity and I'm countering them with the story I want to tell, instead of the one based in my fears.

So, as I've gone through today, there have been times when actual panic cropped up and my first reaction is to post something on Facebook or Twitter to request light and loving energy for this situation. And just in the middle of writing my plea,
Wisdom shined the true light on my thoughts and actions.

What do I really want from my friends? Prayers? Light? Loving Energy? That all sounds so very spiritual and an
gelic, but the truth is, I want to share my anguish with someone. I want to pour out my heart and have a companion or friend listen. What would I do with their light, prayers, or energy? I have my own. In fact, I AM the Light, and no one knows what I need right now more than me! It occurs to me that when people send their prayers, or light to me, it is their light, filled with their objectives and opinions. Solutions to challenges that have worked for them in the past, but they are not, perhaps, what I need. So if I truly want to be guided, I will ask only the one who knows me best. . . my Wisdom. And if I want to just have an ear to listen, or a companion to cry with, then I can post my plight on Facebook and Twitter. But to do that, I must realize, I am opening myself up to their opinions and energy. Now, is that really helpful for me?

So, this is my conclusion: I will not send light, or loving energy, or prayers, because we all have full access to those energies within each one of us, if we will only seek it. But, awww, let me be the ear that someone else may need; be the arms they crave wrapped around their hearts, and the gentle guidance back to their own Wisdom for the answers they seek.

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